This Is Not What I Had in Mind
by thecrazyfanficcer
Summary: *one-shot, set after Angels & Demons* As it turns out, somethings are not as easy as one would expect--intercourse among them. *sex reference*


**Hey, y'all! This is my first **_**Angels & Demons **_**fanfic on this account. It takes place after the book—right after, meaning right after the last sentence of the book. I hope you like it! :D**

* * *

"No, but I know it's not what I'd have expected." Langdon reached for the bathrobe's drawstring with a smile and began to undo the knot. "Am I right?"

Vittoria laughed mischievously. "More than you could ever hope to imagine, Robert."

Langdon grinned up at her. The drawstring fell loose in his hands; he dropped it and started to slide his bathrobe off, chest first.

She grinned back, her cheeks flushed and her eyes alight. He was pulling the rope down his abs when he was hit by a sudden thought.

His mouth opened, and he swore; it was a few seconds before he could speak. Catching sight of the expression on his face, she pulled her robe back on, jerking upward and hastily redoing the knot. "Robert, what happened?" she asked, frowning. "Is everything all right?"

"It's just..." Langdon bit his lip. "I'm not sure—"

"I rushed it, didn't I?" Vittoria blurted out. "I'm sorry, Robert. I didn't realize. I barely gave it a thought, and—"

"It's not that." Langdon looked at her, worried. "It's because, well, you know, there's something that's not going properly here, and it's that—" He swallowed audibly. "Vittoria, there's something we've totally forgotten about.…"

* * *

"Hello. Welcome to Hotel Bernini Room Service. How may I help you?" Isabella Buonarroti asked in Italian and English.

"I have a request for you—I've been told you have them here, you see, though I apologize if I'm mistaken." The woman took a moment to speak to someone in English in the background. "I would appreciate—again, I'm not entirely sure if you have this on hand or not—some—"

"Oh, I see." Isabella nodded. "Yes, I can get you some. What's your room number?"

After finishing up with the woman, she called another hotel worker with a knowing smile.

* * *

Ottavia Maccari was the deliverywoman in question. After making her way over to the right room, she knocked on the door. "Hotel Bernini room service. I've come with your delivery."

"Very well," said a woman. "Come on in."

"All right." Ottavia came in and looked around—a woman in a Hotel Bernini bathrobe was standing in front of her. "Here you go." She handed the delivery over.

"Thank you." The woman took it in one hand. "How much?"

"Two lira."

The woman placed the delivery on the bed and opened her hand. She counted out some money money and gave it to Ottavia. "Here you go."

"Thank you for having used the Hotel Bernini room service." She nodded and started to head over to the door.

"I was wondering," the woman ventured. Ottavia turned to see her smiling tentatively. "Why is the box wrapped in brown paper?"

"That's the packaging in which they are purchased," she said.

The woman nodded. "I see. Thank you again."

"You're welcome," replied Ottavia, turning around and opening the door. "Thank you for having used the Hotel Bernini room service."

* * *

Langdon looked at Vittoria. "Hard to believe the hotel supplies these. Do you think we should ask?"

Vittoria eyed the box. "Hm. . . ."

"One would wonder, wouldn't they?" Langdon opened the door. "Let's—" He blinked, staring at the deliverywoman standing before him. "Pardon me, but—"

"Oh, one _would_ wonder." She smiled at him. "After all, not every hotel buys condoms for their guests from a nearby drugstore."

Langdon's eyes widened. "What? Why on Earth would you do that?" he gasped.

"Well, quite a few couples forget to bring some along." Her smile turned into a grin. "And they're cheaper this way."

The deliverywoman was gone before Langdon and Vittoria had stopped gasping.

* * *

**(grins) Well, Brown didn't write anything that would indicate otherwise, now did he? XD**

**On another note, reviews are appreciated, especially constructive criticism. See ya!**


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